Hard News....

 May 1st kinda our lives.  I had been experiencing some symptoms that were bothering me but nothing too concerning.  I decided to see a functional doctor and let him check things.  After several weeks of nothing improving I knew something else had to be going on.  He referred me to a GI doctor who immediately scheduled me for a colonoscopy.  Melody and Logan were there with me when I woke up to hear pretty much the worst news I've had so far in my life.  They found a tumor and the doctor was almost certain it was cancerous.  He scheduled me for a CT scan and blood work the very next day.  We got the results and he called to tell us that it had metastasized to my liver.  This means stage 4 which was a very hard thing to accept and even grasp.  I had so many feelings and emotions running through my mind and heart and honestly I felt very numb.  We were very open with the kids and it was a very hard night telling them all the things.  I got very weak and the recovery after the colonoscopy was hard.   I got in to see a colorectal surgeon that week and got his opinion which wasn't great.  He said he wouldn't do anything until my liver was under control.  So I went to see 2 different oncologist.  These were the hardest appointments yet.  Lots of tears.  I just felt overwhelmed and didn't really know what direction to turn.  I sure didn't want to poison my body.....I've been so careful about eating right, exercising and never popping pills.  All of this was a lot to swallow.  Melody was amazing through all of this.  She started doing major research for me and we called and talked to many alternative treatment places figuring out another way.  This was all during the month of May.  I had many tests run at places and blood work done.  The oncologist was ready to put in a port and get me started on aggressive chemo ASAP.  I was just not ready for any of that.  So this was the start of my cancer journey.....

So many amazing God things even in the first few weeks.  We had friends gather in our front yard on literally one of the hardest days we've had and just let us cry and weep with them.  They prayed over us and were there for anything we might need.  Both sets of our parents were doing all they knew to do to support and love us.  It was a very hard few weeks but overall the Lord was there every single time giving me the strength and support to push through.